photo from Growing Wildly
One of the best pillars of co-active coaching is the one that states “you are complete, creative and full of resources”. And if we think about it this is one of the biggest challenges we face as parents. Perhaps you’re wondering why.
This pillar of coaching tells us that inside we all have the capacity and resources necessary to be what we are in our essence and to achieve those desires and objectives that come from this essence. Well, in our role as parents we are often busy (or even worried about) teaching our children how THEY SHOULD do things, how things ARE, what they should and shouldn’t do. In short, we try to guide them constantly. However, there is another, complementary, perspective that basically involves TRUSTING THEM. Trusting that your child will know how to do things, using his skills and creativity. Because in reality your child is complete, creative and full of resources. Challenging, isn’t it?
One of the things that surprises me most when I interact with children is seeing what happens when I completely “leave them to it”, when I trust them to be able to resolve the situations they come up against, from a 3-year-old child, up to a teenager. It makes me realise how often we underestimate their creativity and ability. And in reality they are much more creative than they seem. They are much more capable. They are complete and full of resources. And this doesn’t mean we should just ignore them and let them get on with it. It means accompanying them with complete trust and letting them find their own creative solutions. In the situations your child faces (from something as simple as everyday tasks to other, more complex matters) you should accompany him or her and ask: What can we do? How would you do it? What options do we have? If you feel the need to guide them, don’t do it. Experiment and see what happens.