Dads exist too! | Casualplay

Dads exist too!

12 May 2014

In today’s post I want to express warm recognition of the role men play. During the pregnancy and over the first few years of the baby’s life, fathers sometimes get relegated to the background and their role is just as essential and important as that of the mother. It is usually inevitable that the focus at this time is placed on the mother…and we sometimes lose sight of the great job that fathers do, which isn’t always appreciated and acknowledged.

Photo from Growing Wildly

What is their role? Basically they have to support, encourage, understand, indulge and not judge the woman’s emotions or moods. In short, they have to uphold the mother emotionally and support her with all the internal and external changes that her body is going through. What does emotionally upholding the mother mean? It means “being there” (quality presence) and listening (without judging). It means accepting how she is feeling and supporting her in her emotions and the changes she is experiencing. This is the best gift a dad can give! Although it is not always “visible”, this role needs a very active attitude. That’s why we need to recognise that what fathers do is extremely helpful and makes a significant difference to how the mother experiences the pregnancy.

Photo from Growing Wildly

Sometimes we need to be a bit careful because supporting the mother does not mean we should demand that fathers experience the pregnancy in the same way that we do. This is a trap that it can be easy to fall into sometimes…Their experience is never the same as ours and it doesn’t matter if they live it differently. Each person has their own way of experiencing changes and processing emotions. As mothers we need to be understanding too and not demand that fathers do too much. We need to trust them!!

Photo from Growing Wildly

Andrea Zambrano Specialist in Coaching for parents Twitter: Andrea_coach

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